Welcome to Hidden Palms, Bitch!

I just watched the last two episodes of Veronica Mars, but I'm too emotionally overwhelmed to say anything about them right now.

I am, however, perfectly capable of commenting on what is undoubtedly this summer's upcoming hit on the CW, "The OC." Oh, I mean "Hidden Palms." Starring Oliver, Zach, Jackie, some girl, two women from NYPD Blue, some other girl, some sleazy dude, and Jake Kane in some capacity. Here's the plot, as far as I can figure:

A troubled kid (we'll call him something normal, like Ryan) moves to an affluent neighborhood with his mom and stepdad (who we'll call the Cohens). Once there, he's instantly drawn to an equally troubled and tragically beautiful young girl (how about...Marisa). Then there's his charming next door neighbor Zach (or, better yet, Logan), also troubled due to the murder of his best friend, and his slutty mom (*cough* Julie Cooper-Nichol *cough*), who Ryan befriends and fends off advances from, respectively. Eventually he meets a smart, nosy and undoubtedly troubled girl (rhymes with Harmonica Cars) who helps him solve the neighborhood mysteries. But before it's all over, the troubled party girl from the big city (Jen Lindley, if you please) shows up just to make things complicated. Parties, fights and crimes of passion ensue.

Wow, Kevin Williamson, I don't know what to make of the drag queen, but make one of those kids the child of a criminal, amp up the class struggle and throw in some racial tension and I think you've got yourself a hit. And it would probably also help if at least two of the characters find out that they're siblings. Well done!